Y3W - Call me slacker!

I used to be organized.  I used to be a planner.  I used to have "to-do" lists.  These days?  Not so much.

Since the bees were born, life has been crazy to say the least.  I'm not sure if it's because I'm a first time mom {to babies}.  When Princess Bee became part of my life she was not a newborn. I never had to pack a diaper bag.  I never had to plan trips around nap time.  I never had to measure out bottles.  Despite all of these things I "never had to do", I always had a plan for me, Honey Bee and Princess Bee.  These days I feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants.  Barely getting by.

If it's not due to being a first time mom, is it related to having twin baby bees?  When Honey Bee and I found out we were expecting twins we went through a wide range of emotions - joy, panic, worry, HOLY CRAP!  I had grand visions of spending nearly 4 months at home after their birth.  I'd have them sleeping in their room, in their cribs by 2 months old.  We'd use BabyWise to have them sleeping through the night by 10 weeks old.  I'd have an iron-clad daily routine and our days would run like a well-oiled machine.

Today our life is pretty much the opposite of this vision.  Honey Bee just asked me earlier this week "What happened to my wife?  You know the one that used to plan everything?"  Well, let's see....she had two babies.  Ten weeks early.  Life just gets in the way.  I work full time and when I get home each day, I have less than 3 hours to spend with the bees before bedtime.  During this time, I don't care what's for dinner.  I don't care that I have two loads of laundry to be folded.  So what that they've been there for 2 weeks?  It doesn't bother me that I'm grabbing clean sleepers out of the basket because I never got around to putting them in the drawer in the bees' room.

I will say this - our house needs a good, deep cleaning.  I really want to hire someone to come in twice a month to do this, but Honey Bee says we can't afford it.  You know, the whole one income household thing? But our house isn't filthy, nasty, dirty.  Does the furniture need dusting?  Yes.  Do the tile floors need to be steam cleaned?  Yes.  Is the living room our own plastic jungle?  Yes.  But to me, it's not cluttered.  It's not nasty.  I mean, I lay the bees in the floor all the time.  If I thought our house was dirty, I'd do something about it.  It just needs a little "elbow grease" as my Nanny calls it.

So if you want to call me a slacker because I'd rather spend time snuggling with my bees instead of planning meals, folding laundry, and mopping floors, go right ahead!

Wordless Wednesday

This is how I feel lately.  The bees have got to start sleeping better.  Please?  Pretty please?

Midweek Musings

I have a lot racing through my mind today, so I think bullets will be the best.  My type A personality loves a good bulletted list :)

• The bees have their first NICU follow up appointment tomorrow.  I've been told to expect to be there at least 3 hours for both of them to be seen.  My understanding is that we will see PT, OT, Speech, Nutrition & Audiology.  That's a lot of people.  I'm really hoping the bees can handle all the stimulation.

• We had our 6 month well-baby appointment last week.  It went well.  We love our pedi and she has twins of her own, so she can relate.  She was very pleased with Chunky Bee's weight gain and motor skills.  Chunky Bee is on the growth chart for his actual age and in the "average" range for his adjusted age.  Poor little Itty Bitty Bee is still not on the charts.  Not even close.  But our pedi was pleased with his weight gain.  In the 20 days since he'd been in her office, he had gained an average of 1/2 ounce per day.  She said that was a step in the right direction.  However when we started discussing motor skills, he's behind.  Way behind :(  

• Speaking of Itty Bitty's motor skills...he's receiving in-home PT/OT.  He was evaluated a couple of weeks ago and was classified as a 2 month old.  His body is more focused on gaining weight and breathing than building muscle tone.  We have some "exercises" - I use that term lightly - to do with him and for now he will have once a month sessions with the PT.  I'm hoping tomorrow's visit puts pressure on our provider to visit more often.

• Insurance is such a pain in the butt!  I'm so tired of people not doing their job.  I've spoken with the billing department at the hospital where the bees were born at least 5 times about their bill.  First, they didn't file a claim with our primary insurance.  They sent me a bill for Chunky Bee.  Did they really think I was going to just fork over almost $90K for his NICU stay?  I called and thought I got it all straightened out.  Then a couple of weeks later they called me - AT WORK - and left a message.  I was mortified!  Luckily our secretary knows everything that we've been through and knows that Honey Bee and I pay our bills.  It's just so frustrating!

• In addition to the bees' check ups last week, they received vaccines.  No fun!  Itty Bitty is on a delayed scheduled because of his small size, but Chunky is on schedule for his actual age.  Itty Bitty received 3 vaccines while Chunky received 4.  Oh and they both got their first flu shot.  The rest of that afternoon wasn't so bad, but when it was bedtime cue the fussiness and fever.  Two preemies + fever + first time mommy = scared and worried Queen B.  Both bees ran fever on and off for 4 days.  

• I've been pumping since the bees were born.  It has become such a chore.  I have a love-hate relationship with my pump.  I love that I can provide the bees with milk and all the good stuff that comes with it.  But that's about all I love.  I hate the "swoosh, swoosh, swoosh" sound of the pump.  I hate the red, irritated areas on my nipples.  I hate washing my pump parts.  I hate waking up with two bricks on my chest.  I hate pumping!  My original goal was to make it until the bees are one year old, but I highly doubt that's going to happen.  Right now it's a month to month thing.  

I hope you're having a great week!

One year ago

Today marks one year.  One year of buying two of everything.  One year of thinking about two cars in 16 years.  One year of thinking about 2 college educations in 18 years.  One year of thinking about two little ones in diapers.  One year of thinking about double the hugs and kisses.

When you work with a fertility specialist you know the chances of having multiples is there, but you think "It won't be us."  I remember crying after my last monitoring appointment with my RE because I had only 1 mature follicle and one other that "may catch up".  Little did I know those tears were wasted.

My bloodwork at 12 days past my IUI showed relatively high beta HCG levels.  I went to betabase and compared my numbers to the average woman.  I knew it looked like multiples were possible, but I still didn't think it was really going to happen.  Then the night before my first ultrasound I had a dream that the RE saw 2 heartbeats.  I didn't think about it that morning while getting ready, but waiting in the exam room I told Honey Bee "I think it's twins."  He kind of blew me off and then the ultrasound tech walked in.  End of discussion.  Sure enough, two heartbeats showed up immediately.  Two sacs, each with a little flickering grain of rice.  It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Dont' you agree that it's beautiful?  How did those two little grains of rice grow into my little bees?  How did something so small grow into 6 month old babies?  If you think those little grains of rice are cute, check out what they've become since then

Aren't my bees cute?

Wordless Wednesday - Tomorrow

6 month vaccines X two = Nervous Queen Bee

Welcome ICWL!

Welcome ladies (and gents?)!

I'm Bridgit.  I just started this blog to chronicle the events of my life as a new mom to twin boys, known around here as the bees.  You can find out more about me and my beehive here.  Honey Bee (my husband) and I struggled with IF issues - you can read more about our TTC journey here.

I'm a first time mother and I'm learning as I go.  Sometimes I think I'm way ahead of the learning curve, but other times I've dropped off the charts.

I'm looking forward to meeting you!

Need.Sleep

What happened to my boys that slept from 7:30 until 5:00?  Yes, 5:00 am is early but it's much better than waking up at 2:15 and not wanting to go back to sleep until 3:30.  This was Chunky Bee last night or shall I say this morning?   Once I realized that he wasn't going back to sleep and picked him up out of his crib, he was fine. Happy.  Smiling.  Talking.  Super Alert.  Did I mention that he had three cat naps yesterday that totaled about 1 hour of sleep.   I don't know how the kid does it!

Then we have Itty Bitty Bee.  He wakes because he's truly hungry.  Sometimes it is at 2:00 other times it's at 4:00.  It varies.  Oddly enough it doesn't frustrate me when he wakes up in the middle of the night to eat.  He's little.  He needs to eat.  He usually falls back asleep while eating.  You're up maybe 30 minutes with him.

I can't figure it out.  I've read all about growth spurts.  I've read about the  dreaded "4 month wakeful".  I've read about teething.  I don't think it's any of these things with Chunky Bee.  I think he's spoiled.  Maybe he's having some separation issues.  He's in the bees' room by himself right now.  I've read that infants start noticing that they are "alone" around this age.  There are lots of things I don't know, but I do know that Honey Bee and I are exhausted!

In an effort to remedy this, I have the bees' nanny increasing the amount of milk Chunky Bee takes during the day.  He's been happy with 4 ounces every 3 hours.  I'm hoping that we can get up to 5 ounces every 3 hours and with solids he'll have a full tummy and be sleepy.  At this point I'm willing to try anything.

A heavy heart

To say that Itty Bitty Bee has had a tough road would be an understatement. He spent four and a half months in the hospital after being born. He struggled to gain weight (still does). He went on and off CPAP numerous times. He had 4 spinal taps. Needless to say, he's been poked and prodded more than the average adult.

Even though it's been a rough road, I'm very grateful. Itty Bitty is alive. He hasn't had surgeries. He has a healthy heart. His brain ultrasounds were clear. As of now we don't know of any long-term effects of his premature birth. Very grateful and blessed.

A preemie mom friend of mine lost her little boy last night. This is the second child she and her husband have lost. I cannot imagine the pain and suffering. There are no words.

Favorite Things Friday

Even though the baby bees are six months old, they are "technically" not even four months old yet.  I feel as if I've had 2 newborns forever.  Here are some items that have been extra helpful during this stage of the bees' life:

Medicine Dispenser - I LOVE this thing.  Itty Bitty Bee has medicines to take daily for his pulmonary hypertension and BPD.  He's not a great eater, so I can't count on putting the medicine in his bottle either.  Honey Bee and I use this dispenser at the beginning of Itty Bitty's feedings to ensure that he gets all of the medicine.  

Boppy - I've been home with both baby bees and their feeding times have overlapped.  It's so easy to prop both baby bees up and feed both of them at the same time.  In addition, Itty Bitty loves being propped up just to look around.  Chunky Bee used to like that, but now that he's rolling over he's apparently too big for it.

Fisher Price Bathtub - The baby bees LOVE bath time!  Love it!  This bathtub has legs that attach and it sits right on top of the kitchen sink.  This has come in quite handy since starting purees with the bees.  Feed one and move straight to the tub.  I particularly love the mesh sling.  It attaches (and detaches) easily.  Itty Bitty still needs the sling, but Chunky Bee is too big for it.  Even though he can't use the sling, there is a ledge that helps support him and keep his head out of the water.  

There you have it.  I'm not sure Honey Bee and I would make it without these items.  I'm looking forward to featuring more items as the baby bees grow.

Y3W - Come Meet Me!

I started this blog just this week. I have several things that I hope to add, but for now I'm just trying to commit to blogging at least 4 days week.

If you're here through Y3W, follow me and you can get an glance of life inside the beehive.

Have a great weekend!

When the lights go down...

I returned to work a little over 5 weeks ago.  The boys have a nanny that comes to the house each day while I'm at work and Honey Bee is in school, studying, etc.  For the first 3 weeks, I gave her the freedom of making their schedule.  It became obivous that it wasn't working - major meltdowns each day, poor sleeping habits, cranky parents.  Sometimes they would take their last bottle at 7 other times it was closer to 9.  I NEED some sort of consistency. 

Honey Bee and I spent Labor Day weekend tweaking a "daily routine" for the boys.  I've learned that regardless of what happens during the day, they need a bedtime ritual.  They need signals to let them know it's bedtime.  Here's what our afternoon and evening looks like:

4:30ish  - I get home from work, change clothes and disinfect myself before touching the boys.  After cleaning, I play with the boys in the floor.  We talk, we laugh, we practice sitting and rolling over.  Somebody has a breakdown because he's not getting enough attention.

5:30 - Honey Bee occupies both boys while I go get their dinner ready.  We started purees recently and I'm still learning what they like and don't like.  I plan on making larger batches for freezing, but for now it's a day-to-day thing.  (I use this website as a guide for recipes and which foods to introduce.)

5:45 - Feed the first boy.  It varies, but it's usually Itty Bitty Bee.  He's smaller, not a fan of the spoon and gets messier than his brother.  Honey Bee plays with the other one during this time.

6:00 - Feed the other one.  While I'm feeding, Honey Bee is washing bottles and making up bottles for the next day.  Which ever boy isn't being fed, plays on a blanket in the floor.

6:15 - Honey Bee baths one of the boys.  We try to alternate days on bathing.  Both of my little bees are so much fun in the bathtub and we enjoy switching it up.  After Honey Bee is done, I bath the other one.

6:30 - After everyone is bathed, lotioned and dressed for bed, the baby bees get their final bottle of the night.  Chunky Bee usually falls asleep while taking this bottle.  Itty Bitty on the other hand, is wide awake at this point.  He will take about half of his bottle.

7:00 - After some snuggling and rocking, Chunky Bee is sound asleep.  As soon as you lay him in his crib, his eyes POP open. Most of the time, we can give him his paci and he'll drift back to sleep.  Other times, it's a back and forth game.

While Chunky Bee is being put down, Itty Bitty is receiving his nightly breathing treatment.  The breathing treatment usually puts him to sleep.  Not because it makes him sleepy, but because he has to be still.  When he stops squirming and moving around, he falls fast asleept.

7:15ish - After Chunky Bee is down and settled, I begin making dinner.  Later than before we had kids, but Honey Bee and I decided we'd rather eat later than eat with a kid on our shoulder or eat cold food. 

Honey Bee and I usually eat around 7:45 or 8:00 and then clean the kitchen together afterwards.  Then we enjoy an hour or so together before heading to bed. 

What is your nightly routine like?  Any tips or suggestions?

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog.  For more information about me and my family check out the About the Beehive tab.  I'm still working on building my new blog, but hope to post regularly.